AVPM: The Book Of The Musical
by PenMagic
Summary: How would AVPM look like in chapters, on paper? What if it was a story, not a script? This is AVPM plus extra dialogue and the thoughts of those who went through what Harry did, that second year at Hogwarts...Rated T for swearing the only use is when it is in the script and musical
1. Privet Drive and Diagon Alley

**Heya, so this idea came to me totally randomly! I thought, how would AVPM look like if it had been the books? So this chapter 'documents' the part of AVPM from the beginning to when Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny leave the stage in AVPM Act 1 Part 2 to let Draco have his/her solo. It will be done sort of by days or by events, you'll have to see, I'll have to see! Please review, tell me if you think it is any good or not, whether I have missed out anything important! I have deliberately left out some things.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any speech/phrases/conversations/characters that you recognise. All rights reserved to JK Rowling for the characters and to the Lang Brothers and Starkid for all the bits of dialogue you recognise from the musical.**

**Enjoy and I do love feedback!**

The guitar and the invisibility cloak. Those were the only things that he had of his father, his dead father, his father is dead, he has a dead father. He was still not quite sure how he had managed to fit the guitar under his bed at the beginning of the summer holidays but he had only just been able to get it out along with his trunk and all his books and wand. He would also have had the arduous task of trying to explain the Firebolt to his Muggle aunt, uncle and cousin, but he had given it to his godfather and best adult friend Sirius Black and his old Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Remus Lupin.

And now Harry James Potter was waiting. He was waiting for his best and totally awesome friend, Ronald Weasley to take him out of Privet Drive and to Diagon Alley where they would be meeting up with Hermione – at least Harry thought that was what it was – to buy their school books. Perhaps they might bump into Cho Chang, which would truly be totally awesome.

He had missed Hogwarts; there was no doubt about it. He had missed his friends, obviously, some of his teachers (the less said about Snape the better) and all that food he was able to gorge himself with each day. He missed the elves that were in the kitchens, the ghosts that haunted the place as much as possible and going on adventures, last year had been so cool!

His aunt and uncle were out at some fancy party as usual, celebrating another success in Vernon's business. His cousin was over at a friend's house so, for a rarity, Harry was home alone. He knew better than to try and take advantage of an empty house. If Ron didn't come, there was most likely to be something damaged from weeks ago in the house that he would be blamed for and then he wouldn't be able to get to Hogwarts.

There was a loud shout from behind the front door and so, before Ron could try to break it down and then he would be in the biggest trouble ever, Harry jumped up and opened the door, letting his best red-headed friend in.

"Yeah and it's gonna be totally awesome!" Ron was proclaiming to no one in particular. "Did somebody say Ron Weasley? Hey buddy."

They greeted each other in the typical fashion, a man hug. That was what it had come to be known. "How are you?" Harry asked.

"Cool. Sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to go and get some Floo Powder. But we've gotta get going, grab your trunk and let's get going."

Making their way to the living room, Ron produced a good load of Floo Powder and Harry sighed, he did hate this type of travelling. Stepping into the flames, he let himself be sucked up along with all of his belongings, the air pressing in, his claustrophobia not being helped by this truly horrible experience. He knew that Ron was waiting for him, so that was some form of comfort.

But far too far afterwards, they landed in the Leaky Cauldron and Hermione had to spring the surprise on them. "Gosh Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzz kill?" Ron demanded, speaking the thought that had been on both of their minds but Harry was far too polite to say it. Ron, on the other hand, was perfectly fine with it.

Hermione sighed; Ron needed desperately to learn some manners. And she did know best and she had to keep reminding the two idiots of her friends. "Because guys, school's not all about having fun. We need to study hard," cue a shiver from the boys, "if we want to be good wizards and witches." She shrugs. "Just look at me, straight Os."

Ron snorted. "You see, that would be cool if you were actually hot."

He just said what? Harry stared at his friend in horror as Hermione suddenly looked extremely put out and Harry thought quickly, sending Hermione an apologetic look before going over to him, a reproachful look in his eye. "You can't say things like that Ron, we're practically the only friends that she's got."

Ron shrugged, clearly unaffected as Harry sighed. "And that's cool."

Trying to get back into their good books, Hermione forced a smile on her face; she can bear the impossibility of the red head. "And that's totally awesome."

Satisfied that his friends were at least on mediocre terms, Harry led the way out of the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley, through the special brick wall. The streets were lined with the shops that they loved to visit, the clothes that they could purchase, the brooms that they could ogle at, whether they could afford them or not, the wizarding bank Gringotts dominating the skyline.

And everywhere they went, they saw faces they recognised. Old friends, new friends, Muggle borns buying their first wand, seventh years buying their final books for Hogwarts, mothers and fathers taking their children to Zonkos as a special treat. Diagon Alley was a special place that could not be rivalled in its shopping, the atmosphere was breath taking and Harry loved it every time he went there. True he had only been there once before but hey, that didn't matter, Harry loved it anyway.

Their moment of peaceful bliss was broken by what sounded like a Banshee calling them from several miles away. "ROOOONNNNN!" A small red-headed girl, who looked remarkably similar to Ron, with the same vacant expression and bright red head, came running up to them. She had a whiney expression on her face that made Harry feel slightly annoyed with her already and she had barely met him. "You're supposed to take me to Madam Malkins' and use those Sickles mum gave you for my robe fitting!"

Harry frowned, okay, clearly a Weasley. He had met most of the other Weasleys last year at King's Cross but he didn't really remember them very well. "Who's this?"

Ron sighed as the girl grinned and waved, looking a little bit goofy. "This is my stupid dumb little sister Ginny. Ginny, this is Harry, Harry Potter." Politely Harry stuck out his hand, grimacing slightly.

Ginny took it eagerly, shaking his hand vigorously which made him feel rather uncomfortable. She was a little too fan girl for his liking. "You're Harry Potter," yes definitely a fan girl, "you're the Boy Who Lived!"

Harry sighed, no duh. "Yeah, and you're Ginny."

She was practically hyperventilating with excitement and Harry was getting rather bored. "It's Ginevra."

Seriously? What kind of a name was Ginevra? No offense to Ron's parents or anything. "I'll stick with Ginny."

"Stupid sister!" Ron shouted, rather too loudly for Harry's liking at Ginny who cowered slightly, what a jerk she was. Ron threw his arm around Harry good-naturedly. "Don't crowd the famous friend."

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, well perhaps someone's iPod, music started to play. Definitely Asian in origin, it was the girls that made Harry suddenly straighten his tie and look sharp. For coming down the road was no other than Cho Chang, Lavender Brown and the third girl from Hufflepuff that he could never remember the name of.

"Who's that?" Harry could immediately detect the jealousy as well as awe in Ginny's voice.

Finding he couldn't make a proper sentence, Harry could only splutter with nerves. "That's…that's Cho Chang."

Ron smirked and nudged his best friend with a knowing look in his eye. "That's Cho Chang, the girl Harry's TOTALLY been in love with since freshman year."

Hermione sighed. "Yeah, but he won't say anything to her."

Both boys looked at her incredulously, well of course not. Clearly needing to spell something out to her for the first time, Ron raised his eyebrows. "Well duh, you never tell a girl you like them it makes you look like an idiot."

But in telling Hermione the obvious, both boys had neglected Ginny and failed to notice her approach to the group of girls. Tapping Lavender on the back, Harry and Ron watched in the utmost horror as Ginny then proceeded to bow. It was not clear what she had said but it was made clear as Lavender's much more touchy side was brought out. "I ain't Cho Chang."

Ouch. Harry and Ron both winced as they realised that Ginny had made the mistake that, admittedly, a couple of people had done before and Ron stormed over there, apologising to the girls and dragging his sister back over to the group. "That's Lavender Brown, RACIST SISTER!"

Harry's heart began to flutter and it beat faster and harder as Cho came over and smiled sweetly, in the way that she always did so perfectly, at Ginny. "Oh that's alright, I'm Cho Chang y'all."

Harry was now staring dreamily into space. "She's totally perfect."

Swallowing as Cho winked at Harry and then walked away, Ron sighed. "Too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory."

Harry frowned, Cedric who? Last time he had heard, the three girls had made a pact to remain single for life. That was what destroyed him and had stopped him from asking her out last year. "Who the hell is Cedric Diggory?"

Ron frowned; it wasn't as if the guy was hard to miss. "You know, he's huge and tall and…"

Any further comments he was planning on making were instantaneously stopped as all four of them were thrown to the floor with force as the ungodly and infuriatingly effervescent character that was Cedric Diggory, burst through the crowd and, in the process, deliberately knocking over the trio and Ginny. Harry could not keep the disgusted look off his face as he was unceremoniously thrown to the floor and Cedric began this cheesy, disgusting and totally wrong declaration of love for Cho. He would never do that, it was too soppy and as he and Ron knew, he would never tell Cho he liked her because that would make him look like an idiot.

When finally he had gone, followed infuriatingly by Cho, they stood up and brushed themselves off, Harry trying desperately to keep his temper down. "What a jerk."

His temper no better now, Ron scowled at his sister. "So are we going to get those robes or not?"

Ginny also seemed to have a bit of a temper as she stormed off. "Alright, I'm going!"

None of them in the best of moods, they went off to go and get their items they needed for the coming year. True enough, Ginny was as annoying as Harry had originally thought her. He couldn't wait until they could find Mr and Mrs Weasley and let Ginny go off with them but it seemed she was determined to stick around. Once they had collected all they needed, they began to make their way along to the Leaky Cauldron where they were all going to be staying.

That was when they came across Crabbe and Goyle. Harry sighed and looked at his friends, these two were the worst. "Crabbe and Goyle." Ron sighed.

He watched them let Neville run off, poor Schlongbottom, guided by Ginny, before taking a deep breath. Boy was he feeling brave today. "You know what? Leave poor Neville alone."

Goyle was freakishly tall and seemed to tower over most people. The way he appeared so fearsome as he stepped towards Harry, made him slightly unnerved. "Well if it isn't Harry Potter. You think because you're so famous that you can boss everyone around."

Excuse you! Harry thought, that wasn't very nice. He was just the Boy Who Lived, the one who defeated Voldemort. "No," he stated carefully, "I just think that guys of your size should be picking on guys like Neville."

Harry had sincerely hoped that this wouldn't escalate but his hopes were dashed when Goyle reached forward, his shadow over Harry, and snatched the glasses off his face. Blinded, Harry could only see blurs. "Well you know what I think?" harry shrugged. "I think glasses are for nerds." Then the terrible sound of snapping rang out as Harry realised, in horror, that his glasses had been snapped in half and had been dropped on the ground. "We hate nerds!"

Crabbe echoed his fellow crony. "Hate nerds."

Harry knelt down on the ground and started to look frantically for his glasses, perhaps Hermione could fix them. "That's it." Ron was getting angry, finally about something worth getting angry about. "You don't mess with Harry Potter; he beat the You Know Who when he was a baby."

Finally, Ron had got it, Harry thought but that wasn't the point. He heard Hermione get closer and pick up something that must have been his glasses before guiding him up. "Alright everyone, just calm down. Oculus reparo!" she cried, probably pointing her wand at the glasses. The sound of glass and plastic repairing itself could be heard and Hermione pressed the glasses into Harry's hands and he put them on, glad to finally be able to see again. He hated not being able to see, it made him feel vulnerable. "Oh cool."

Hermione took his arm, protectively. "Let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone."

Suddenly, the droning voice that he did not want to hear in a million years came wafting down the street. "Did someone say Draco Malfoy?" the little git who seemed to have a permanent hatred for Harry, Ron and Hermione, waltzed onto the scene.

Harry sighed, the quicker they could get rid of him, the better. "What do you want Draco?"

A smug smile on his face, he seemed to relish the attention, or lack therefore, he was getting. He seemed to still have the commanding air over his friends that he had had last year. "Crabbe, Goyle, be a pet and go pay for my robes will you?" Harry thought they had looked new and knew that the worst would be coming if they were going. "So Potter," he said, coming dangerously and uncomfortably close to Harry, "back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with the higher calibre of wizard.

Well, he still clearly hadn't learned that Ron and Hermione were the better type of wizards and Draco needed to learn it. "Listen Draco, Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world. I wouldn't trade them for anything."

Malfoy did look a little put out, Harry couldn't help it, and he was being a git. "Have it your way." However his expression changed suddenly, "wait," oh dear, the possibility of another dirty blood or red-headed joke was becoming more likely with Ginny on the scene, "don't tell me." yup, another Weasley. "Red hair, hand me down clothes and a stupid complexion, you must be a Weasley."

Immediately the trio released their hug like grip they had had on each other and Ron started towards Malfoy. It wasn't cool to diss a Weasley; the Weasley family were cool even if they were highly annoying and clingy. "Oh my gosh Malfoy, lay off her. She may be a pain in the ass okay, but she's my pain."

Ron seemed to have really stepped up on the whole bravery thing this summer, Harry thought admiringly. "Well, isn't this cute?" sarcasm was dripping from Draco's tongue like water off a waterfall. "It's like a little loser family."

Trying to contain his rage, Harry could do nothing but walk off, away from the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley and to his new room in the Leaky Cauldron pub. Plenty of things had happened last year, both good and bad memories and he hoped that at least this year would be far more relaxing, far easier and far more fun than last year had been. Although last year, they had won the House Cup and that had been totally awesome.

**What do you think? Does it do it justice?!**


	2. The House Cup Tournament

**Heya! Thanks for all of your positive reviews, alerts and favourites for the last chapter! I'm so glad so many of you liked it, it was a risky idea! So, this chapter is released in honour of the Apocalyptour's release on iTunes but although it was taken down soon after, I can still count it as a valid reason to post! This doesn't mean that I will only be updating on important Starkid dates, I just thought today would be a good day to post it! If you are following me, well done!**

**So, sit back, read and enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, all rights reserved to JK Rowling, and any of the dialogue which you recognise from the musical (which will be most of it), all rights reserved to Matt and Nick Lang and those who helped write it!**

Mudbloods and murmurs. Two things that Harry hated. Well he didn't hate the former, he just hated the word. In fact, one of his best friends Hermione was Muggle born. Murmurs, or rumours or mutterings was what bothered Harry to an alarming degree. Over the last year, it was a good precaution for him to assume that all the murmurs he had heard about him. It was a sad but well known fact that, these days, the majority were indeed about him. And he hated it.

As he packed his trunk once again in the Leaky Cauldron on the morning of 1st September, he could hear hushed whispers coming from outside his room. As he hate his breakfast with a more than normal cheery Ron and a smiling Hermione, the less said about Ginny the better, he could hear hushed voices on the other side of the room. The car ride there was not as annoying but as soon as he reached Platform 9 ¾, he could hear them again.

"Come on! We'll miss the train!" Hermione's voice broke the train of thought in Harry's head and, having put his luggage on board already, he clambered aboard as the final whistle went and the train shuddered before starting to move.

It wasn't far to find his compartment and, after Ron had rather rudely evicted Ginny from the compartment, they settle down. The journey to Hogwarts was long and uneventful. That was if you didn't count the sweets incident. What was it with Harry, the Hogwarts Express and the sweet lady? Something seemed to happen each year. Last year, it was the fact that a Death Eater had Imperiused her and almost killed him. This year the issue was Redvines. Undoubtedly the best Muggle and magical sweet today, it could do anything. However it seemed that everyone else on the train before the trio had gaged this phenomenon and there were none left by the time the sweet lady had reached them.

"What do you mean there aren't any left?" Ron sounded like a lost puppy, almost on the verge of tears. "Can't you just magic some more up?"

Hermione sighed, she had told Ron the reason why she couldn't create more, wasn't Gants Law of Elemental Transfiguration easy enough to understand? It was so easy, how come no one knew about it? But a warning look and a small shake of the head from Harry stopped Hermione from telling the truth.

"I don't know Ron." She spoke helplessly, she was a good actor.

Ron sniffed. "But you're you Herman, you must know."

Hermione smiled. Despite their protests and constant teasing, the boys really did rely on Hermione to get them through the year, quite literally. "Okay, I do know but I know that you know that you don't want to hear it."

Ron huffed but she was right, he didn't particularly want to hear it right now. So he resigned himself to a packet of Twizzlers, several Chocolate Frogs and a new type of sweet called Toffee Crispy which was like the Muggle version but had popping candy in the middle as well. They were a good and new find and the trio had plenty of fun with them.

The hours went by and they all got changed, the sky becoming darker and the woods thicker. As they pulled into Hogsmeade station, the chatter of the students moved from the compartments swiftly into the corridors and they abandoned their belongings to make their way over to the carriages that would take them up to the castle. Hogwarts was as dazzling as they had remembered it. Its towering turrets dominated the skyline and the sunset, with its soft pastel shades of rainbow, provided a backdrop to what could be a fairy tale castle that Muggle children would read about in books. The gates swung noiselessly open and the carriages kept going, no need for words to pass between the trio as they soaked in the splendour of what was before them.

It was strange not going as first years with Hagrid across the lake and being there before the midgets but it was fun all the same to truly experience what they would be doing for the rest of their lives. Having done some pretty heroic stuff, it was not surprising that Harry was greeted by many of his fellow Gryffindors of many different years. His most surprising and confusing revelation, was the lack of Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas, two of his fellow Gryffindors in his year. No matter how hard he or Ron looked, they could not find the dark skinned Cockney and the gangly Irish boys.

Surprisingly, unlike last year, the Sorting Hat and the Scarf of Sexual Preference were nowhere to be seen. Instead, student had just been placed at random tables and, unsurprisingly but Ron was cursing under his breath, Ginny was with the Gryffindors. Once they had all settled down, Dumbledore stood up to speak. He had a cheerful smile on his face and his eyes seemed to sparkle with delight.

"Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts." He glanced over to Harry. "And a very special welcome to my favourite student, Mr Harry Potter!" Ron had managed to get some food already without the tables filling up, but he joined in the cheering and Harry smiled graciously. "He beat Voldemort when he was just a baby. He's even got that little lightning scar to prove it." Harry grinned as Ron patted him on the back and a few people threw grins at him. "And another special welcome to the newest member of Gryffindor: Mr," Dumbledore stumbled momentarily, "sorry, Mrs Ginny Weasley!"

Ginny stood, unsure of whether to be annoyed at being told she looked like a man, pleased at being singled out by the headmaster or confused as she was most of the time. She decided to go with the last one. "Yeah, I'm a girl." Then she spoke the thought that most people had been wondering. "And, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the Sorting Hat?"

It was a fair question, finally Ginny was actually making sense for once but Dumbledore's smile remained wide. He beamed at Ginny who tentatively smiled back; she wasn't so sure about him. "Well a funny thing happened to the Sorting Hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing. So he and Scarf of Sexual Preference aren't going to be back until next year." Ginny looked slightly put out by the potential existence of such a thing so she just sat down quite quickly again. "Basically I've just been putting anyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, anyone who looks like a bad guy into the Slytherin and the other two can just go wherever the heck they want, I don't really care."

Stupid Cedric Diggory then chose that particular moment to stand up and proclaim himself in front of the whole school. "Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!"

A murmur ran throughout the hall. Huff-what? "What the heck is a Hufflepuff?" Dumbledore echoed the question of everyone and Cedric shrugged before sitting down. Wait, even he didn't know? How stupid was that? There was an awkward silence before Dumbledore continued. "Anyway it's time now for me to introduce my very good friend, our own Potions Professor, Mr Severus Snape!"

General quiet applause reigned throughout the hall but Ron rolled his eyes. "Aw man, Snape? I'd hoped they'd fired that guy."

Ginny frowned and leaned down to Ron. "What's wrong with Professor Snape?"

Ron rolled his eyes and looked at her as if she was stupid. "Uh, nothing, he's just evil!"

Snape stalked into the room, all eyes on him as he swept about in his usual manner, his cold dark eyes piercing each and every student's soul, making most people feel pretty uncomfortable. Trying to avoid the intense gaze of the Potions Professor, Harry tried to defend him, though he wasn't quite sure why. "Come on Ron, he's not that bad."

It was as if Snape was a bat. He seemed to be able to hear across the Great Hall as well as a normal classroom which wasn't as difficult. "HARRY POTTER!" Silence fell and all knew that this couldn't go well; the hatred between the two wasn't disguised. "Detention."

"What?" Harry was astounded; it was barely the beginning of the year.

Snape rolled his eyes and drawled in his slow, nasal voice. "For talking out of term." Harry sat down dejectedly, okay he took back whatever nice things he had just said about Snape, and he was an evil git. Snape swished his cloak and was away. "Now before we begin, I'm going to give you all your very, very first pop quiz!" Rubbing his fingers together evilly, many a sigh echoed throughout the Great Hall, only a handful of Ravenclaws and Hermione were excited by this idea. "Can anyone tell me what a Portkey is?" A Port-what? Harry thought as Hermione's hand shot up, narrowly missing his glasses. "Yes Miss Granger."

Hermione looked positively bursting to tell the answer and she smiled as she answered, very, very quickly. "A Portkey is an enchanted object that will transport one or two wizards to anywhere in the world decided upon by the enchanter."

Say what? Harry, who was sitting next to her, couldn't understand so it was no wonder that most people also looked confused. Snape however, let what seemed to be the starts of a smile creep onto his face. "Very good. Now can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?" Harry had definitely heard the term before but, like those around him who might have had a clue, he was once again out shadowed and almost slapped by Hermione's raised and quivering hand. "Yes, Miss Granger."

Hermione seemed to be speaking faster and faster as she went along. "Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way."

That sounded as if it had come straight out of a dictionary, was Hermione secretly a walking, talking, annoying dictionary? "Perfect!"

Ron, as per usual but it did get slightly annoying at times, hadn't been listening. "What's a Portkey again? I missed that."

Hermione, ever eager to tell anyone who would listen, leant over. Harry could never remember why they all sat in a line; it would be so much easier if one of them sat across from the other two. "Oh, a Portkey –"

Ron sighed and cut across her. "No not you."

Hermione continued anyway and, just like most of the time, the two boys tuned out and back into what anyone else except her was saying. Snape was talking yet again and Harry wasn't sure whether to be annoyed that Snape was still alive or grateful that he could be lulled into sleep by Snape's voice rather than be made constantly nervous by Hermione's rattle. "And remember, a Portkey can be any sort of simply harmless object like a football, a dolphin."

Another voice piped up from the Ravenclaw table. "Professor, can like a person be a Portkey?"

The very idea seemed to repulse Snape as he answered immediately. "No, that's absurd. Because then if a person were to touch themselves," he seemed to look pointedly at somewhere in the Gryffindor table but Harry wasn't sure, trying to work out how infuriating that would be, "they would constantly be transported into different places." He paused, as if contemplating whether to say the next thing but decided to go along with it anyway. "A person however, can be a Horcrux."

Harry spoke the thought that was going through everyone's minds, even Hermione. "What's a Horcrux?"

Snape had his twisted smile back on his face as he faced Harry. "I'm not going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough."

Hermione, ever the curious and continuously annoying, chose that moment to speak up, yet again. "Professor, what is the point of this quiz?"

Was there ever a point to them? The question was on both Harry and Ron's minds as Snape shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh no, no, no, no point in particular. Just important information that everyone should know, especially you." he pointed to a random student who suddenly looked rather frightened and a) the prospect of being singled out by Snape which could lead to disaster and b) it couldn't mean anything good for them anyway. "Moving right along. There are four houses in all: Gryffindor," a raucous and roof-raising cheer rose from the table, solidly lead by Ron, "Ravenclaw," a few cheers and whistles rose up, "Hufflepuff."

Cedric stood up once more, what was his freaking problem? "FIND!"

Snape looked a little affronted. "What? And Slytherin." A few banging on the table and whoops let everyone know that the Slytherins were present. "Now traditionally, points are given for good behaviour and deducted for rule breaking. Example, ten points from Gryffindor!" murmurs and small protests broke out from the Gryffindor table, what had they done now? "For Miss Granger's excessive knowledge."

Ron and Harry sighed and looked at each other, how many points were they going to lose because their best friend was the smartest girl in the whole school. "Thanks Hermione." They both said at the same time, slumping slightly.

Snape carried on as if nothing had happened. "Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the house cup. However this year we're doing this a bit differently." He smiled 'the creepy smile' that made Harry feel rather uncomfortable. "Here to introduce it is our new Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts: Professor Quirrell."

The side door opened to reveal a very strange man and Harry suddenly got very sharp pains burning his scar. He was thin with small dark brown eyes to match his hair, most of which you couldn't see because of the large turban he was wearing. It was a strange purple and Harry was immediately wary of it. There was something that was definitely not right, despite Dumbledore having had to decide between this guy and the others. Actually, Harry knew that this guy had to be good if Dumbledore had appointed him. "The house cup," his voice was as twitching and stuttering as his hands and his eyes darted around the room, trying not to make eye contact with anyone, "a time honoured tradition. For centuries it –"

He was loudly and rudely interrupted by a call from the Slytherin table. "Go home terrorist!"

Immediately, despite the pains in his scar, Harry wanted to defend the Professor as he clearly was a friend of Dumbledore's and he would bet anything that the voice had belonged to Malfoy. But he didn't want to lose any more house points so resigned himself to staring at Malfoy with utter loathing.

Slightly recovered, but not completely, from the interruption, Professor Quirrell spoke once more. "For centuries, the four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honour and glory of holding the title of House Champions. But where does this competition come from and what are the roots of this tradition?"

It was a rhetorical question, but everyone except Hermione seemed to realise this. Calling out from the Gryffindor table, she answered the question. "The House Cup Tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students."

Everyone stared at her, no one had known that but they hadn't cared at all. "That was a rhetorical question." Professor Quirrell seemed to fail at putting any authority into his voice and if he was going to continue to ask questions, Ron and Harry were in for an insufferable year.

Dumbledore frowned at Hermione. "Granger, quit interrupting, 20 more points from Gryffindor." Ugh, Harry could swear that they were going to be on minus points by the end of the year merely from Hermione being a smart-ass know-it-all.

Ron glared at Hermione in his usual fashion. "Thanks Hermione."

Sometimes Harry felt rather glad that he was in between the two of his best friends. If they were next to each other, sparks would definitely fly. Professor Quirrell tried to start again. "As I was going to say, when the tournament first originated, it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would compete in a series of challenges and tasks. The winner would not only win the cup but would win eternal glory.

Hermione really couldn't keep her mouth shut. She was muttering again and then spoke out to the lamentation of many of her fellow Gryffindors. "Much like a…a Triwizard Tournament!"

She looked very pleased with herself but she was the only one. She was even worse than last year and that had been saying something. Professor Quirrell stared at her momentarily, as if trying to read her mind before speaking. "Yes sort of like a Triwizard Tournament. Except no! Not like that at all! There are four houses, how can it be the Triwizard Tournament with four teams?"

Harry was seriously considering trying to close Hermione's mouth with magic but decided against it as he didn't know how to and put his hands over his ears as she rattled on again. "Well if I remember correctly, the house cup tournament was abandoned after one term when one student was killed during the first task."

Wait, killed? That made Harry sit up. That would mean it would be so much more fun to see people he hated die! "Yes, it is dangerous. But the awards far outweigh the risks."

Hermione was getting rather heated about this; she really did know her stuff and how to tick everyone off. "I don't think you heard me correctly, I just said somebody died!"

Dumbledore finally took pity on the rest of the school and decided to intervene before this got nasty. "Hermione Granger shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting, 20 more points."

Now they'd lost 50 points before anyone had had a chance to gain any? "Thanks Hermione!" Ron and Harry both muttered, really she could be such a jerk at times!

Dumbledore paused for thought. "For the cleverest witch of your age, you really can be a dumbass sometimes." Laughter echoed around the room, it was true though. Dumbledore smiled as if he had managed to tell himself a private joke. "Ten points to Dumbledore."

Professor Quirrell was starting to look rather agitated now and hastily carried on. "Yes, yes, it will be very dangerous but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And, as Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts, I think this practical application is exactly what the curriculum needs –"

His speech was cut off by a large sneeze that seemed to come from his direction, but no one owned up. Dumbledore moved towards him cautiously, warningly. "Did your turban just sneeze?"

Professor Quirrell seemed to go a deep shade of red very quickly and looked at his feet like a naughty school boy. "No, no."

Dumbledore tilted his head, thinking. "I could have sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction but your mouth wasn't moving."

Quirrell nodded, noting this. "No, no, that was simply…a fox!" he started to move very swiftly towards the Gryffindor table as he or his turban, Harry wasn't quite sure, kept sneezing. But as he got closer, the pain started again. It was like lightning hitting him over and over again, a constant stabbing pain that wouldn't go away. He couldn't ignore it and Harry clutched his scar, Ron and Hermione for once stopping their argument and looking at him with concern. "I must be going to sort it out, good night!"

And with that, he sped out of the Great Hall, his face as white as a sheet. Dumbledore, shaking himself a little, moved back to take centre stage. "Well, there it is, the newly erected House Cup. Now a champion will be selected from each house to compete." Snape suddenly re-appeared with a beautiful cup that glistened with gold and had silver 'H' emblazoned on the side. "So Snape, if you will do the honours."

Snape had an evil grin on his face that Harry did not like. "Yes headmaster." He dug his hand into the cup and pulled out a piece of paper. "First, from the Ravenclaw house: Miss Cho Chang!"

Cho stood up and clapped her hands with joy, Harry wistfully hoping that she didn't die. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've won y'all." She moved out from the Ravenclaw table and went to go and stand at the end of the teacher's table.

Snape pulled the next piece of paper. "Next, from Hufflepuff," an evil smirk overcame his face and suddenly Harry liked where he thought this was going, "Mr Cedric Diggory."

The complete git stood up and moved as he talked, ugh he was so creepy. "Well I don't FIND this surprising at all."

Cho smiled at him as he joined her. "Neither do I, it means I get to spend more time with my beloved boyfriend."

Cedric had this crazed look on his face. "I'm glad as well." And then, in front of the whole school, he leant over and kissed her on the cheek, making Harry fume inside.

Snape clearly wanted to get out of that situation as quickly as possible and picked another piece of paper from the cup. "Next, from Slytherin house: Draco Malfoy!"

There was a shout of joy as Draco practically jumped to his feet and raced over the Gryffindor table where he tried to loom over Harry and ended up falling over. "Huh, I finally beat you, didn't I Potter? What do you think of that? I'm the champion this time!"

Dumbledore looked thoroughly annoyed and called over to Draco. "Draco would you come and stand here, champion is just a title."

Snape was getting restless and moved on to the last contestant. "And finally from the Gryffindor house." There was a sharp intake of breath from Snape as a wide smirk spread across his face. "My, isn't this curious? The one person in the whole of Hogwarts whom I have a well-known grudge against is the champion in a tournament where he may nearly die."

Seriously, what was it with Gryffindor speaking out today? Harry turned as Neville jumped up, what did he want? "If it's me, I don't really mind, no one really cares."

Snape frowned, an icily stare on his face. "Sit down you inarticulate bumblebee. It's Harry Potter!"

Immediately, the Gryffindor table burst into cheers. Whether it was gladness that it wasn't them that had been chosen, or genuine happiness for Harry, the table was a cacophony of noise. Ron was leading the cheer and even Hermione had a strained smile on her face as Harry got up and made his way to the front.

Making them stand to face the rest of the school, Dumbledore smiled. "Well here we are folks, the four Hogwarts champions. Now I want all of you to start preparing immediately because the first task is in two months and it could be anything. So let's get to it!"

Cheers rose up as each of the Hogwarts champions bowed and made their way back to their respective houses, the names rising up over the cacophony of adulation as the food arrived. This was going to be the best year, ever.

**What do you think?! **


	3. Eternal Glory

**Hello! I meant to post this yesterday but I couldn't finish it! Now I sadly am only going to be able to update once a month at the very least as I am writing seven stories and I want to update them all regularly plus I have all my school work so my apologies. So obviously, as usual, I don't own any of the dialogue that is here that you recognise as it all belongs to Starkid. I've tried a new method with this chapter where I typed out the scene before writing in all the extra. Tell me what you think because if it doesn't work then I will change back to the way I did it before.**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 3**

Eternal glory, he already had that. Did Harry honestly want even more of it? He was just a 12 year old kid! But then again, if more eternal glory was gained by beating Cedric Diggory at this House Cup and getting Cho Chang again, then Harry was totally up for it.

The food suddenly appeared on the tables, clearly Dumbledore had finished speaking and it was time for food which was far more important thing. There were several cheers from all four tables for each of the champions. The trio plus Ginny and Neville were sitting towards the end of the table, near the teachers and Hermione was suddenly very distracted with her food, but in a different way as to how Ron and Harry were distracted by their food.

As the two boys began to pile more food on their plates, it was inevitable that the conversation would turn to what had just happened. "Harry," grinned Ron with his crooked-jaw smile, "you've got this tournament in the bag."

Harry smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I don't know man, Cedric Diggory, he's pretty awesome." Ron looked astounded, trying to work out if Harry was kidding on not. Harry snorted. "NOT! He sucks, I'm totally going to win it!" the two high fived. "I've got it in the bag."

Hermione looked very worried and was now sitting on the other side of the table; this inevitably meant that she wanted to talk to them about something, which was always deathly boring and completely unnecessary. "I don't know Harry."

Ron interrupted her immediately, slightly spraying the area immediately in front of him with bits of food. "Oh my gosh Hermione, shut up. Why do you have to rain on everybody's parade?"

Hermione looked as annoyed with Ron and he did with her. How much longer was Harry going to be able to put up with this? "Because Ron, this is dangerous."

Harry scoffed, really? Did she really think him that naïve? "Dangerous? Oh come on Hermione! How dangerous can it be? Especially for me!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, she was getting tired of the boys pretending they were so great, they needed the facts. "Well, you're not invincible Harry. Someone died in this tournament."

Harry raised his eyebrows at her, just visible beneath his messy hair. "Um, I'm the Boy Who Lived, not Died! Gosh! What's the worst that could happen?"

Ron nodded in agreement as Hermione sighed for the umpteenth time. "I don't know about that Quirrell character." Just because you couldn't get house points for your excessive knowledge, Harry thought grumpily as Hermione continued in her rant. "First he resurrects some horrible ancient tournament and then he bumps into you and your scar starts to hurt." It was a little weird, Harry thought, momentarily noticing that Ron had gone back to his food, understandably, Hermione's voice starting to make him feel a little drowsy. "And you have to admit there is some really frumpy about the back of his head."

Harry looked at her disbelieving, was she really that idiotic? "Come on think about it. Professor Quirrell is a professor and who hires the professors?"

Ron joined in with the obvious reply. "Dumbledore!"

Harry carried on his point, not caring that Hermione may or may not know the answer as he looked down the table for chicken drumsticks. "Who's the smartest, bravest, most practical wizard, beautiful wizard in the whole world? Why, why would he possibly hire somebody that's trying to trying to hurt me?"

It seemed to be an obvious question but Hermione leant forward to ask yet another infuriating question. "Well, what about Snape?"

She actually had a point, but Harry wasn't quite sure what that point was. "Yeah, what about him?"

Hermione sighed. "He's hated you for years and he's hated your parents too Harry, everyone knows that. And he just so happens to pick your name out of the house cup out of hundreds if not five possible Gryffindors?"

Harry grinned; it was such a great idea and opportunity. "Yeah, what a coincidence! Another one down!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and actually sounded genuinely worried which was something that was more frequent in her voice than was good for her. "No Harry, I don't think it is a coincidence. When you defeated Voldemort you made a lot of enemies, one's you might not even know about."

Harry frowned; did Hermione actually have a point for once? He puts his hands up in surrender, putting down the food which made Ron stare it him as if he was crazy. "Okay, alright, let me get this straight. So you're saying that this tournament is just one big ploy to try and kill me?" Ron snorted, it did indeed sound completely ridiculous.

Hermione however was persistent. "I don't know, maybe! Anyway I think it's dangerous and I don't think you should do It." she did genuinely sound concerned.

Harry sighed, in actuality he didn't really need all the fame and glory, it was slightly annoying as it meant he had to look weak but if it meant that Hermione would get off his tail then he could pretend. "Alright Hermione if it means that much to do, I'll drop out."

Hermione grinned as she wrapped her arms around her friend in a protective hug, she had fallen for it and so had Ron by the look of his face. "Thank you Harry!"

Ron's voice carried cringingly a long way down the table. "Wait, wait, what? The House Cup? What about all the eternal glory you'd win? Come on!"

Harry raised an eyebrow, it was rather hard to forget who he was and therefore he didn't need anything. He spread his arms out and winked at Ron. "Hey, eternal glory? Already got that." He shrugs; he hates to name his replacement. "Besides, Neville will be a great champion." There, he'd done it but he regretted it almost immediately.

Ron stood his face red and he was clearly fuming. "No, no, no, I do not want Schlongbottom to be my champion." It was almost as if he was saying 'well why didn't you nominate me as you're second?'

Hermione sighed; she had to take charge once again in order for this to happen, for her friend to be safe. "So all you have to do is –" suddenly she spotted the perfect person walking out of the hall, "oh look there's Dumbledore. Why don't you just talk to him now and telling him you're dropping out?"

Harry coughed slightly and turned a little red, wiping his brow in worry. He took Hermione off to one side momentarily, hoping that Ron wouldn't mind. "Um, listen Hermione. Dumbledore and I are really tight and I don't want him to think that I'm being lazy by not competing." He paused again, how was he supposed to put this? He was rubbish at talking to girls; even Herman was taking some getting used to. "So, can you tell him? Why don't you just tell him? Work out a deal or something. Alright?" He knew he could rely on Hermione to help him out. "Hey, you got this one."

Hermione forced a smile onto her face. "Yeah."

Harry was still grinning. "You're the best!"

Hermione still wasn't convinced about it. "Yeah."

Harry smiled, sensing her doubt. "You got it, don't worry!"

Hermione sighed; she had to do this to save Harry. "Okay." She left the two boys and walked down the hall towards where Dumbledore was now going. "Dumbledore!" She called out, hoping he would hear her.

Thankfully he did. "Yes Granger?"

She didn't really like the demeaning way in which he referred to her merely by her last name but she had to swallow it. "I need to talk to you for a moment; it's about the House Cup Tournament." She could see him roll his eyes and knew that she had to say it quickly. "Well, first of all I think it's an awful idea. But second of all, I, I don't think that Harry Potter should compete." There it was, her opinion had been voiced and she knew she would be shot down for it. But at least it was worth a try.

Dumbledore sighed and shook his head, never a good sign. "Granger, why do you have to always be such a big old stick in the mud huh?" Hermione begged to differ; in fact she was being a very good friend. "Pray tell me why Harry Potter should not compete."

Hermione was stumped; she had to come up with a reason? She thought just saying it would be enough! She was no good at lying! "Uh," she quickly racked her brains for things people did at Hogwarts, at school, "because he wants to study." She finished lamely; she knew that would never get past him.

Dumbledore stared at her as if she was crazy. "Granger, nobody studies at Hogwarts except for you."

He was right and Hermione hated to admit it, okay, what else could she say? "Ah, okay, well, he wants to focus on the OWLs!" Everyone needed to, right?

Dumbledore frowned at her, a questioning glare on his face. "Why couldn't Harry have told me this himself? He thinks I'm cool, we're tight." He raised his eyebrows, as if challenging her.

Hermione knew very well when she was defeated. She threw her hands up and sighed. "Professor, I'm a really bad liar, okay, I think it's a ruse, a set up and I even think Snape might be trying to kill Harry Potter."

Dumbledore's eyes widened in shock and surprise more than anger which made Hermione that slightly bit worried. "Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest men I have ever known." Hermione raised an eyebrow at the last description, was her headmaster hiding something. "Severus Snape is just as much trying to kill Harry Potter as he's trying to kill me! Huh?"

It was just at that opportune moment that Snape happened to waltz into the room; Hermione thought she saw a bulge underneath his robes but her eyes may have been deceiving her. "Why Professor Dumbledore!" his voice was laced with surprise and emotion, such a precious and rare thing. They both turned in surprise as Snape continued in his rather nasal tone. "I was just in the kitchen and I made you this delicious sandwich." And he brought out something from underneath his robe that made both of them gasp, but for different reasons. Snape had produced what looked like the most delicious sandwich with everyone's favourite toppings carefully placed on top. But Hermione gasped for the reason that, within all the ingredients, she could see a little red box that she could, from here, hear ticking. It was a bomb.

Dumbledore seemed to have not noticed this rather important factor. "Oh why thank you Severus! You see Granger? How thoughtful!" Hermione just stared in horror.

Snape approached Dumbledore cautiously, quickly adjusting the sandwich in some way as he presented it to him. "Here you are Professor! Bomb appetite, I mean, bon appetite!" and with that he was gone.

Hermione took the chance to try and get Dumbledore's attention on this differing factor of the sandwich. "Ah, is that sandwich ticking?

Dumbledore smiled at her with a wide grin. "It looks like its licking, finger-licking good!"

Hermione was getting very panicky now; the greatest wizard alive could die within seconds because of his stomach. "Professor, I don't think you should eat that sandwich!"

Dumbledore rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh Granger, you got to listen to Snape more often, you might even get a sandwich out of him!"

Hermione knew she had to act quickly; the ticking was getting louder and quicker. It was going to blow any second now. "Oh, oh!" Suddenly she grabbed the sandwich out of Dumbledore's surprised arms and ran off towards an empty cupboard in the corner of the hall; it would have to explode there. The castle could repair itself.

Dumbledore stared at her in shock as she opened the door, threw it inside and then shut it quickly again. "What are you doing?" Suddenly there was a small explosive bang and everyone who was in the room jumped. "Oh, the gargoyle exploded my sandwich!"

Hermione ran back over immediately, feigning it was her fault. "I'm sorry sir!"

Dumbledore sighed and gave up; they needed to get back to the question in hand. "Hey, even if I did believe Harry Potter was in danger he has to compete." He sighed and pointed at the cup that Snape had brought on not an hour ago. "You see that cup?"

Hermione nodded, who couldn't? "Yes."

Dumbledore slowed his speech down, talking as if to a child. "It's enchanted. Whosever name comes out of the cup has to compete or the results will be bad."

Hermione looked at him worriedly; bad could imply many of things along the variation of not good. "What do you mean bad?" She needed a logical explanation for it.

Dumbledore stuttered before speaking, trying to phrase it so she could understand it. "Well, try to imagine your entire life exploding instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."

Hermione's eyes widened, that was the most fatal death to suffer. "Total protonic reversal."

Dumbledore nodded, glad to see that someone was keeping up with him. "Yeah, so you see he has to compete." There was something that could be better. "And Hermione, if it makes you feel any better, the last guy that died in the tournament was a Hufflepuff…so um, I'll keep my eyes open and nothing's going to get past old Dumbledore." He looked Hermione up and down, who nodded and muttered something that sounded like 'alright'. Dumbledore frowned at her suddenly; his mood and focus changed once more. "I've gotta go make myself another sandwich. Although I don't know how it's going to be as good as the last one, the last one ticked!"

Hermione sighed as she returned to Ron and Hermione, sometimes he was the absolute limit. Despite Dumbledore was the greatest wizard that ever lived, he was sometimes so blind. "Because it was a bomb!" she went back over to her friends and spoke to them, both of them eating once again. "Harry I'm so sorry but I think you're going to have to compete in the House Cup tournament." Ron grinned; he had got his way once more. "But don't worry; I won't rest until I find out what the first task is."

Ron nodded in agreement, Harry had to win. "And I'll sabotage all the other champions so you win by default."

Harry high-fived his best friend. "Alright, you guys are awesome!"

Suddenly something that was definitely not totally awesome entered the hall. It was empty except for the golden trio, but now Goyle and Crabbe had entered the hall, Malfoy in the former's arms. "Well, isn't this touching?" His drawling tone bored them already.

Ron huffed. "Oh my gosh, just butt out Malfoy!"

Goyle gracefully placed Draco on the ground where he rolled over and turned towards the trio who were looking at him in disgust. "Goyle and I have a bet you know. He says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I disagree; I say you won't last five minutes at Pigfarts!"

Harry sighed; he was going on about this again! "What? Alright Malfoy, what is Pigfarts?" He was getting very annoyed with the blonde.

Draco raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "Oh, never heard of it? Figures, famous Potter doesn't even know about Pigfarts." He scoffed as if it was something that everyone should know about."

Harry stood; he had to deal with this, to deal with this idiot. "Malfoy don't act like you don't want to talk about it. That's like the ninth time you've mentioned Pigfarts, what is Pigfarts?"

Draco smiled and stood, folding down the creases in his uniform. "Pigfarts is only the greatest wizarding school in the galaxy; it's where I'm being transferred next year." That was the best news Harry had heard all day, he only had to survive with the maniac for one more year.

Hermione chose to speak at that moment. "Malfoy I've never heard of that." Harry frowned, well then Draco had to lying if Hermione hadn't heard of it.

Draco pulled himself up to his very small height and pronounced it very clearly and precisely: "That's because Pigfarts…is on Mars!" Right, that was why he was an idiot. Draco Abraxus Malfoy had just truly proved that he was truly an idiot.

Harry sat back down; he knew he could never win a conversation contest with someone who was talking rubbish. "Alright Malfoy, you know we're trying to have a conversation here so if you could just leave us alone…" he gestured to show the conversation they were having.

Draco waved it off. "Oh, I'm not even here."

Harry turned back to Hermione and Ron; they needed to talk about the House Cup. "Okay so I think we can find out what the first task is because Dumbledore –"

Draco interrupted them with a cruel laugh. "Dumbledore? What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar!"

Goyle nodded in agreement. "Rumbleroar!"

Harry rolled his eyes and turned back. "Anyway, as I was saying –"

Draco turned around to them once more. "Rumbleroar's the headmaster at Pigfarts! He's a lion, who can talk." This sounded so grand that Harry wanted to snort with the ridiculousness of this idea.

"Malfoy if you don't mind, we're trying to have a conversation here, it's not like – " he looked at Malfoy just sitting there, not eating, "wait, you're not even eating, get out of here!"

Draco had become very cocky all of a sudden. "I can't help it if we can hear everything you say. We're the only ones in here."

Harry threw his hands in the air in despair. "This is ridiculous, can't you just get out of here."

Draco looked at him in ridicule. "Where are we supposed to go?"

Harry laughed. "I don't know…er, Pigfarts!" they all laughed at that but Draco frowned.

"Ha, ha, ha, now you're just being cute! I can't go to Pigfarts, it's on Mars." He got up and started to walk towards them. "You need a rocketship! Do you have a rocketship, Potter? You know has enough money to buy out NASA when our parents die." He had come right up towards them and Harry frowned at the mention of his parents that was not cool. "Look at this! Rocketship Potter, Starkid Potter, Moonshoes Potter, traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!" he was rolling around on the floor now, laughing openly at Harry.

He was infuriated now. He stood and went towards Draco. "Okay this is the most misguided way to make me feel jealous. I don't care if you make fun of me, but if you bring my parents into this it's a whole different story."

Harry made his way towards Draco, his wand drawn. "Whoa, not so fast Potter! Crabbe, Goyle!" he gestured to his minions to help.

Harry snorted. "Oh sure just send –"

Goyle towards over him, a steely glint in his eyes. "BACK OFF NERD!"

Harry was truly scared now and stepped back. "Whoa, scared!"

Draco smirked as he curled around the seat. "So, not so tough now are you Potter? Maybe you should hang out with someone better than that lolly-gagging ginger and his stupid Mudblood girlfriend."

Silence, Draco had just said the M-word. Hermione had gone very red and without warning drew her own wand. "Oh that is it Malfoy!" in her fury, she pointed at all three boys. "Jelly legs jinx!"

As their legs began to wobble dangerously, Draco complained loudly. "Oh come on!"

Goyle had a confused expression on his face as he collapsed on the floor. "Hey, no fair, my legs are jelly!"

Hermione made her way over to where Draco was shaking on the ground, his legs unable to hold his weight. She grabbed his tie and pulled him up, his face inches from her. "Take it back Malfoy!"

Draco frowned. "Take what back?" he sounded genuinely worried about what he had said, how could he not have registered it.

Hermione's grip tightened on Draco's tie and the boy looked as if he might be starting to suffocate. Her face was contorted with fury. "Take back what you said about your stupid made up space school!"

Ron chipped in, feeling like he needed to add something as he was mentioned. "Yeah and all the stuff about Hermione being my girlfriend, that's not even a little bit true." He snorted, like it was even a possibility.

Hermione continued with her rant. "And say you're sorry for calling me a you-know-what!"

Draco was actually terrified now; finally he was scared of someone! "I'm sorry!"

Hermione was definitely on a roll her, total badass. "And you promise you'll never do it again!"

Draco nodded, almost automatically. "I promise!"

Hermione seemed satisfied with the result. "Right, now next time we tell you to leave us alone, you better do it!" she dropped him and stalked back over to the Gryffindor table. "Come on Harry, Ron, let's get out of here." She sighed and looked at the now empty plates. "Besides, you already ate all of my lunch."

Harry grinned. "Thanks Hermione." And he meant it; he had seen a different side of his best friend.

Hermione nodded, she was proud of herself as well. "Yeah," she turned her wands onto the Slytherins, "Unjellify!"

The boys stood and started to walk towards the exit. "Wow that was like the most badass thing I've ever seen." Ron nodded to Hermione. "Too bad no one was here to see it though; it was like an outburst of pent-up aggression! Argh!"

The Slytherin boys watched as the trio left. Goyle stood up and rubbed his head where he had hit it on the floor. "Wow that sucks royal hippogriff! We got beat up by a girl who is a nerd!"

Draco looked at where they had gone, thinking thoughtfully. "I didn't mean what I said you know, Pigfarts is real." He was hurt that anyone would doubt her. Suddenly he felt a weird sensation in his nose and tentatively put his finger on his nose. "Am I, am I bleeding?" he looked to his trusty dumbo. "Goyle?"

Goyle rushed over and bent down, looking right up Draco's nostrils to check for any sign of the b-word, blood. "No." he confirmed gruffly.

Draco frowned. "I thought maybe a little…" he shook his head, he definitely was no bleeding. "Wow, I've never been pushed down like that by a girl. Maybe I shouldn't have called her a Mud –" he stopped himself, she didn't like it so he couldn't say it, "whatever."

Goyle rolled his eyes. "I couldn't believe the counter-curse was just Unjellify!" how stupid had he looked?

Draco rolled his eyes in retaliation and straightened himself up. "Right, well I'm not surprised!" he started towards the exit. "Come on; let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place!"

And that was when Draco realised why he didn't call Hermione the M-word, he couldn't any more. Now he knew that she didn't like it, that she hated the word meant that he would definitely never use the word again. For her, he wouldn't.

**What do you think? Next chapter will be a little bit of Quirrellmort!**


	4. Different As Can Be

**Hello! Sorry it has been so long since an update and then its only 2,000 words long...so this chapter comes with best wishes for the New Year, I hope you all had a great Christmas whether you celebrate it or not and that everyone has heard the TOTALLY AWESOME news about Joey and Tessa being on Glee (they are making their debut on tonight's episode apparently!). If you don't know, we won't hate on you but I strongly recommend you look it up!**

**So today's chapter is Act 1 Scene 5. Obviously none of the dialogue is mine and the sentences that I couldn't hear properly I have deleted but it still all should make sense! It is also shorter in the sense that I don't really do the songs so there is a paragraph about sort of what goes on in Different As Can Be but hopefully it is a nice ending.**

**Because of all my school work, this story will only be able to be updated once a month at the least but I hope to be swifter than that with some updates...so enjoy and until the next time! DFTBA!**

The bedrooms that the Professors were given at Hogwarts were modest and the teachers were free to decorate them as they wished. Each Professor had their own taste. Professor Dumbledore's water bed was surrounded by books in many different languages about so many different types of magic and countries that people didn't even know existed. Professor McGonagall had a bare room, there was very little there. The only sentimental things that decorated the room were photographs. Photographs of every single Gryffindor Seventh years since she had become head of house 30 years ago. She could look at them and remember, remember those who still wrote to her and those who didn't or couldn't.

As it was the first day of term, the Defence Against the Dark Arts' professor's bedroom was as bare as it could be. A four-poster bed draped in blue and silver hangings, as they knew that Professor Quirinius Quirrell, who was their new teacher, was an ex-Ravenclaw. A large trunk now lay at the end of this four poster-bed, the initials Q.Q. clearly visible but still a little worn from his school days. Everything was new in the room. The rumour spread was that it was the work of the infamous Hogwarts jaguar that had been known to roam the halls of Hogwarts and settle in a particular classroom before continuing to destroy it slowly over the year. last year, it had decided on poor Professor Lupin's room and luckily for the professor, it had not been him that had had to pay the damage, a few flicks of the wand from the more experienced teachers and it was all restored to order, the red and gold hangings changed back to its summer white. The room itself otherwise was empty. No curious creatures, no owls to send messages and definitely no sign of the Professor himself. But not for long.

With the castle aging, it was no surprise that a few of the doors still creaked open as they were pushed, especially those that had been disused for an entire summer. The oak panelling was now free from dust and dirt that had built up and the door was soon freed from its grey specks as the door was opened. Its movements revealed a thin man, with a pale drawn face and small brown eyes. His hair was covered by a turban and his eyes darted about as if he was constantly anticipating an attack.

Satisfied that he was alone, the man let a smile spread across his face before letting out a loud chuckle. "Fools!" He raised his voice, careful to first cast a silencing charm on the door. "They're all fools! They think they're safe, they think they're back for another year of fun and shenanigans at Hogwarts." Professor Quirinius Quirrell may have been mistaken for a madman for his little outburst if it was shown to anyone else, but to him it made perfect sense and no one did seem to notice this. "Little do they know the trouble that's lurking right under their noses." His smile grew even wider and he let out a barking laugh, reaching up to his turban and beginning to unwind it. "Or should I say on the back of their heads!"

Finished undoing the rather, now, obviously fake turban, he pulled it off with a flourish to reveal a rather disgusting sight. Another man's face appeared to be on the back of his head. Even more pale and drawn than Quirrell, the man had deep set eyes and heavy eyebrows and was turned down into a frown. He had no hair and his nose was merely two slits in his face, his mouth pale and lips non-existent. People may have mistaken him for a monster if it wasn't for the fact that he was talking in human English. Scrunching his eyes, he forced Quirrell to shake his head. "AHA!" He grimaced. "Ugh, I can't breathe in that damned turban." He spat at Quirrell.

Quirrell immediately looked down and apologetic. "I'm sorry my lord, it's a necessary precaution." He tried to explain it without making it sound as if he was talking to a child, but he had explained it before. "For if they knew that you lived, when Harry Potter destroyed you, you lived on."

The man smiled slyly, it was one that seemed to unnerve everyone who witnessed it, and Quirinius was one such fortunate as to not see it. "Yes, when I was destroyed I was forced to live in the Forbidden Forest eating," his face contorted into one of disgust, "bugs and mushrooms and, ugh, unicorn blood." He shuddered as much as one's face only can.

Quirrell smiled and spoke softer than he had done. "Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul."

The face's smile grew wider before turning down into a frown. "Yes, nobody must know any of that." A thin tongue protruded out of the mouth and wetted his lips. "Now, Quirrell, get me some water." Quirrell spotted something that had been previously hidden in the room, a bottle of tap water, undoubtedly obtained from the house elves in the kitchen. Bending over, Quirrell picked it up and held it, unsure of what to do. "Now, Quirrell, pour it in my mouth." Nodding at his own stupidity, Quirrell quickly undid the cap of the water bottle and carefully manoeuvred the water bottle around until he felt it hit the face's mouth and carefully lifted it up so he could drink.

As he continued to pour, Quirrell spoke once more, his stutter evident in his speech. "Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly, my leash." He smiled, the bottle still tilted.

The face spluttered as the water now poured onto his face, his mouth no longer parched. "Yes, yes, I'm done with the water." Quirrell nodded and brought round the bottle to his side to also take a swig. "We must not have any foul ups like tonight in the Great Hall."

Quirrell replied as politely as he could, it hadn't been his fault. "I'm sorry my lord, you sneezed." He spoke as he put the cap back on the water and put it back on the side table where it had been.

The face frowned. "I know that!" His angry tone made Quirrell flinch slightly. "Wash that turban, it tickles my nose." He spat, he was getting tired of the man already.

Quirrell nodded in understanding. "Yes, my dark king." He added the last part, trying to make him sound grovelling and therefore hopefully on better terms with the man who could kill him easily even without a body.

The face sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, just relax with the dark king, okay." He grimaced as he spoke. "I watch you wipe your butt daily. You can call me Voldemort, we're there, we've reached that point." He raised his eyebrows to further highlight his point.

Quirrell nodded in submission and his stutter made another appearance. "Yes, yes my –" remembering what he had just said, Quirrell corrected himself, "Voldemort."

Lord Voldemort had been reduced to nothing since Harry Potter had killed him as a baby. With only his Horcruxes and now his soul attached onto Quirrell's body to keep him alive, he needed to keep his evil tendencies alive and his control over as many as possible. "Now Quirrell, get us ready for bed. We must be well rested if we are to kill Potter." He licked his lips in relish, remembering the memory of what had occurred a few hours ago. Quirrell listened patiently as he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. "Tonight, in the Great Hall, he was so close I could have touched him. Revenge is at my fingertips Quirrell, I can taste it. It tastes like," he frowned slightly in confused but carried on saying what he was going to, "cool mint..."

Quirrell spat out the taste into the sink and wiped his mouth before answering as they re-entered the room. "That's our Listerine Voldemort."

Unsure of how to answer for once, Voldemort nodded in such a way that it was possible when it was just a face and not a whole head. "Yes, excellent. Well, goodnight Quirrell."

Quirrell sighed and lay flat on his back, feeling the back of his head on his soft pillow. "Goodnight." He sighed happily.

There was silence for a while as Quirrell began to drift off to sleep, the thoughts of getting revenge on the black haired boy filling his thoughts. "Okay, okay, I can't do this." Voldemort spoke from the pillow. "You've got to roll over; I can't sleep on my tummy."

Quirrell frowned, the first fight was inevitable, they had only been in this situation since this morning and had not really thought about the sleeping issue. "But I always sleep on my back, I have back problems. It's the only way I'm comfortable."

Voldemort took a deep breath before speaking as loudly as one can when your voice is partially muffled by a pillow. "You roll over right now or I'll…I'll eat your pillow! You'll be having a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow but really you'll wake up and your favourite goose feather pillow will be missing!" He half-shouted and felt a smile creep onto his face as Quirrell obeyed him and turned onto his side, not ideal it was better.

Quirrell sighed. "Alright, we'll compromise; we'll sleep on our sides."

Voldemort thought about it for a moment. "Okay, I guess I can do this."

"Well, goodnight." Quirrell murmured into the silence.

"Goodnight Quirrell." Was all that he replied. There was silence for a while but Voldemort couldn't sleep. The way that he was facing meant that he could see the turban and some robes on the chair that stood a little way from the bed. "Hey Quirrell, how long have those robes been on that chair?"

Quirrell sighed, he had almost fallen asleep. "I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now."

Voldemort took a deep breath, this was not happening. "Well are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan?"

Quirrell knew where this was heading but he had to be patient. "I figured I would just leave them there for now and put them away in the morning, okay?"

Voldemort frowned, his eyebrows turned down to make his eyes look more deeply set than before. "Uh, no, no! That's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there are dirty clothes on that chair. The chair's going to start smelling of dirty clothes." He wrinkled nose, he was the one who would have to smell it.

Quirrell heaved a sigh. "Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning.

Voldemort was getting angry and it wasn't a pretty sight. "You put them away, right now! I command you to get up and…fold them at least! Make them into a neat pile." He reasoned, trying to make a compromise.

Quirrell sat up and so therefore did Voldemort. "Look, if we're going to be in this situation for a while, we're going to have to learn to live with each other." His tone of voice turned into one that was more dejection. "I've been single for all of my life and I have some habits and sometimes I leave laundry around."

Voldemort's frown turned into one that was a twisted smile. "Well I believe that everything has its place." He spat out the words that he hated. "Muggles have their place, Mudbloods have their place and so do your clothes, namely a dresser!"

Quirrell was now getting angrier but his new companion's unreasonable demands, undoubtedly he thought to be the first of many. "Well, aren't we an odd couple?"

Trying to work out how it was going to work out would take a long time. So they resorted to talking about what they already didn't like about each other and how they could resolve it. Talking of the plans Voldemort had for the world once it was his was a much nicer conversation for them both as, despite them being different as can be, they were getting on much better already. And as they climbed back into bed, sleeping on their sides once more, Quirrell was certain that this year would be the best year for a long time.

**What did you think?**


	5. Chords and Discord

**Hello! So here is chapter 5, thanks for all the great feedback you guys have been sending me, I adore Quirrellmort but I frankly only really ship it when its AVPM...somehow it just seems wrong in the films.**

**So here is this month's chapter, I hope you like it and do let me know what you think in that little review box at the bottom!**

**As per usual, I do not own any of the characters or speech that you see, all rights reserved to the owners!**

Gryffindor House immediately after dinner was one of the busiest times in the tower. Yes there were the small first years who scuttled off to bed almost as soon as it was finished, and the seventh years who seemed to be up for hours on end, trying to revise. But tonight seemed to be different. The second years had always been the rebels of the years at Hogwarts, especially Harry's year. They had got used to the fact that Seamus and Dean had disappeared and had not made an appearance this year. So it was now approaching 11pm and somehow, it was only Harry, Hermione and Neville in the common room. Ron was out visiting Hagrid, something about thinking about taking Care of Magical Creatures next year or something like that, and well he didn't really care about Ginny but she hadn't been seen.

Hermione sighed and put down her pen from where she was scribbling something on several pieces of parchment. "Harry don't you think you should try to figure out what the first task is? You could actually die if you're not ready."

Harry scoffed, was she going to be going on about this again? Hermione had not stopped pestering him about it ever since he had been chosen. "What? Come on! I mean, can't you just do it for me?" He could always Hermione to do his boring work for him while he strummed on his guitar. "Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me?" He peered over to see what Hermione was doing at the moment. "What are you doing right now?"

Hermione sighed again and held up the piece of parchment that had ink dabbed all over it "I'm writing your Potions essay." She explained exasperatedly.

Harry sat back in the sofa he was sitting in, slightly stunned, that did take priority. "Oh well do that first because that's due tomorrow. But after that, after that, can you prepare for the first task please?" Hermione rolled her eyes; did she always have to do everything? "Thank you, you are the best!" He tapped Hermione on the nose in a friendly way; she was just like a sister to him. "You've got it, thanks Hermione!" Out of the corner of his eye as he leaned back, Harry saw the door to the Common Room swing open and he was surprised to see Ginny come through it. "Hey Ginny, come here, I want to show you something."

Ginny looked rather stunned at being addressed by the boy who lived, this was an honour indeed, he wasn't to know that she had a major crush on him. "Hey Harry Potter." Her voice shook as she made her way and sat on the other end of the sofa to Hermione, right next to Harry.

Harry bit his lip and nodded momentarily before speaking. "Listen, I want to play you this song that I've been working on, it's for a girl that I really like." He looked up with a sigh, thinking about his special person. He failed to notice the raise in Ginny's eyebrows, the hopefulness that she exuded. "I want to let her know that she's really special. So I want to know what you think." He paused momentarily, frowning in concentration as he tried to rework the lyrics. "So for the purposes of now, I'm still working out the lyrics, I'll put your name where her name should be." Ginny smiled a love song by Harry especially for her. "But I don't think it does gonna really work out because…well, let me show you." Ginny listened enthralled as Harry began to play, his fingers sliding over the strings effortlessly and his raw voice making beautiful notes and sounds as he effectively proclaimed his love for her. But he stopped as suddenly as he started, his face turned down into a frown and his brows knitted together. "You know what it doesn't work at all." He looked up from his guitar to look at Ginny. "But I don't know, how does it make you feel, emotionally?"

Ginny couldn't breathe she was so excited, that had been just perfect. "Wow, wowee, Harry Potter!" That was just about all she could manage to splutter out, her fangirling instincts almost taking over.

Harry bit his lip and pushed his glasses, which were slipping dangerously down his nose, back up again. "I don't know, don't you think it could, you know, make a girl fall in love with me?" He asked shyly, he didn't know whether it would work but it was worth trying it out on someone, even if it was Ron's little sister.

Ginny gazed at Harry with complete adoration. "I think it already has." She spoke as if in a trance, love struck.

Harry grinned, he knew it would work! "Awesome, 'cos it's for Cho Chang!"

He was looking too far into the distance, dreaming of Cho Chang to notice Ginny's crestfallen face, her voice hollow. "Oh yeah, she's beautiful."

Harry's eyes widened as he registered what Ginny had said. "What, are you nuts? Beautiful?" He spluttered, trying to find the right word to describe the perfect girl that he was totally in love with. "More like supermegafoxyawesomehot! She's the prettiest girl I've ever met. She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl that I know," actually Hermione wasn't too bad looking but he didn't like her that way and so Harry finished his exclamation slightly lamely, "in my immediate group of friends." He smiled up at Ginny who returned it shyly. "Thanks, awesome."

Just then, there was a loud bang as the portrait banged open and Ron entered, his hand clasped around a packet of sweets. As he passed Neville, he clipped him around the head good naturedly as he nodded to Harry. "s'up Neville?" finding that his usual space next to Harry was taken up with Ginny, Ron pointed at her, repeating 'move' until she did and there was enough space for him before turning to Harry, a curious look on his face. "Hey Harry, s'up?" They bumped fists before Ron continued. "So I was just offstage, hanging out with Hagrid and I was just…" he stopped, shook his head slightly and then changed direction of the conversation in hushed tones, "I saw a delivery wizard bringing giant cages into the dungeons," he shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't know what that was all about."

Hermione as per usual had been listening and she stood her eyes wide. "Giant cages? I bet whatever is in those cages has something to do with the first task." She looked to Harry, fire in her eyes. "Harry, we have to find out what it is."

Harry snorted slightly, put his hands up defensively. "Hey, hey guys chill, I'm busy." And rather than paying attention to Hermione, he proceeded to play on his guitar building up with his speed in the chords. While Ron and Ginny looked on impressed, Hermione was not and she stalked over to Harry before grabbing the guitar.

The reaction from Ron and Ginny as Hermione stood there with the guitar and Harry tried to calm himself down was rather violent. "NO, WHOA! NO, WHOA! NO, WHOA!"

Hermione held up a hand and they fell silent as they realised that maybe Harry was going to listen to her and therefore they would have to. "Guys listen; this is could be a matter of life and death."

Ron looked at her bug-eyed, was Hermione suggesting they should break the rules. "Well it doesn't matter because its afterhours okay?" He ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "We can't leave Gryffindor house, we'll probably get in trouble if we do. And even if we do," he pointed to Neville who was tending his Venomous Tentacula in the corner, "Schlongbottom over there will probably tell on us."

Hermione snorted and spoke kindly. "Neville won't tell."

Neville looked over to them and folded his arms. "Oh yes I most certainly will!"

Ron looked pointedly at Hermione before falling back into the sofa. "So what are we going to do?"

Hermione looked at them as if they were stupid (which they were really). "Simple guys, the cloak!"

Ron and Harry stood, why had they been so stupid? "The cloak."

Ginny stood, her face contorted into a frown. "Wait, what cloak?"

Ron heaved a sigh and turned to her. "Shut up!"

It was getting late and they didn't really notice Neville as he packed up his plant and mumbled to the group, "bye guys!"

Kicking open his trunk which was conveniently in the room, Harry proceeded to search to the very depths for his prized possession. "Well in my first year at Hogwarts I got a present left to me," suddenly he stopped and noticed Neville's leaving, nodding his head in recognition, "oh bye Neville. I got a present left to me in my first year of Hogwarts. And well, it was left to me by my dad, the dad that's dead, my father's dead, I have a dead father. Anyway he used to solve mysteries and stuff with his invisibility cloak." Finding it, he produced it with a flash and Ginny seemed to be mesmerised by the cloak. Its silvery fabric seemed to flow like water in Harry's fingers.

Ginny suddenly found her voice, now it was suddenly about an octave higher and twice as fast. "Wow, oh boy wowee Harry Potter! You have an invisibility cloak! Oh, oh, do you know what I would do if I had an invisibility cloak?" She clapped her hands together in excitement, oh the things that could happen with that!

Harry grinned. "Oh man, I, I would kick wiener dogs."

Ron grinned, darn Harry had stolen his. "I'd pretend to be a ghost so I could scare everyone."

Hermione looked down before mumbling her answer so that nobody except her could hear it. "I'd use it to avoid ever having to look at my reflection in the mirror."

Ginny smiled, they didn't have as cool an answer as her! "Well actually, I was going to say that I would use it to fake my own death and then watch people cry at the funeral!" She clapped her hands with glee, wouldn't that just be so cool!

The trio looked a little put out by the idea and Harry started to walk towards the portrait hole. "Okay, anyway…let's get out of here. I need to go to the bathroom, let's get out of here." He left ahead of the others who started to walk.

Ron suddenly noticed that Ginny was coming with her, the stomping shoes that she wore clacked on the common room floor. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going?"

Ginny looked put out and pointed towards where Harry had just left. "Um, with you guys?" She asked timidly.

Ron's eyes widened, he was not getting his sister involved in this. "No, no, no way, no kid sisters allowed, okay? Besides, there's only enough space underneath this cloak for two people." He suddenly felt bad for saying that as he saw Hermione's face fall. He couldn't deny her the opportunity for an adventure; she was their friend when Ginny was most definitely not. "So, um, come on Hermione, come on."

Smiling, Hermione thrust Harry's guitar at Ginny who caught it deftly and the two raced after their best friend. Ginny watched their retreating forms with tears in her eyes. If only they knew that she wanted to be with the Boy Who Lived. She would never let him go and would do her best to keep him alive. He was hers and hers alone, he just needed to see it.

**What do you guys think?**


	6. Casual Plans

**Hey, so sorry it's been such a long time since I last updated but I have an important announcement to make so LISTEN UP:**

**So when I started this fic, I had no idea how much work it was going to be. I thought it would be great fun to translate the script to page. But in actual fact it has been really tedious and slowly since I have started this fic, I have found writing and posting the chapters more of a chore than a fun activity which is what it should be.**

**So I am officially putting this story on hiatus. If one of you lovely readers wants to come and take over the writing of this story, we connect through the Beta thing and you can send it there and I'll post it on your behalf, then that would be amazing. **

**But if not, until I find some inspiration and will to continue the storyline and where this is going, this is the end of AVPM The Story. I hate to leave you only six chapters in but I hope you understand and you keep fangirling. I promise I haven't given up on Starkid or Harry Potter in any way shape or form.**

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Excitement was growing in the halls of Hogwarts. The House Cup Tournament was an exciting prospect for students to get to know one another and be able to talk about something. Along with the fun of watching their friends get hurt and try to defy things that they wouldn't dream of attempting, there was an atmosphere that seemed to be lifted in the halls and in the classrooms. This interest had not escaped the teacher's notice and the students' excitement was equalled, perhaps exceeded, by the expectations and hopes of a certain Quirinius Quirrell.

Bounding back into his room after a hard day of work, Quirrell seemed to talk to thin air as he took off his turban, now they were in privacy, to let the man on the back of his head breathe. "Master, master the shipment for the first task of the tournament have just arrived!"

The man sighed; Voldemort was getting slightly annoyed with Quirrell's insistence on repetition. "Yes I know Quirrell, I hear everything you that you hear!"

Quirrell spoke with a childish glee in his voice, a broad smile playing on his lips and his hands clasped in front of him. "Isn't it wonderful? We've made sure that Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he will be ours." He laughed, both out of nerves and the sheer thrill he was getting from it.

Voldemort considered it, as much as one can when they are sucking the life out of someone else. "Yes, it's really happening isn't it Quirrell?" He suddenly had a bright idea and his voice became brighter. "You know, with the plan going so well, I feel like maybe we should celebrate. What do you say Quirrell? How's about we go out?" There was a pause, clearly Quirrell wasn't sure and so Voldemort tried a different tactic. "I hear its karaoke night down at the Hog's Head." He knew that Quirrell liked singing; it was a quiet passion that only he knew about it. When he had his body back, and Quirrell had been released from Azkaban, they would be able to do a lot more singing and dancing together.

Quirrell frowned, his tone turned down and he became rather shy and uncertain. He was not a very confident man and Voldemort had learned that trying to be straightforward with things was not the way that Quirrell operated; he always worried about one small thing or another that didn't really matter. "I don't know, I have all these papers to grade and I've been giving so much attention to this revenge plan that I'm really behind." Finally, there was the root of the problem. It was an infuriating business having to teach unnecessary things to children who were never going to use what they were going to be taught, ever. Voldemort and Quirrell knew from experience that you just had to wing it and your own creation of spells came more naturally than ones that you had learned in school.

Voldemort sighed, this man was really hard to get. "Oh come on Quirrell!" He sighed, rolling his eyes and exaggerating his voice as he wouldn't be able to see the eye roll. "You've been working so hard all year! you deserve a night off!"

Quirrell bit his lip, he really wanted to have some fun but he knew that work did take quite a lot of time and priority. "What about all the papers?" He queried.

Voldemort sighed; he was really getting worked up about it. "Oh just give them all B minus' and be done with it!" He suggested, that always worked.

Quirrell's face lit up, clearly delighted with the idea." oh, now that's evil!"

Voldemort shrugged, well as much as one could and at least gave the indication of as much. "Yeah, thanks, I am the Dark Lord!" His tone became persuasive and enticing. "Come on, just a few drinks." His tone brightened; there were always ways to persuade Quirrell that he had learned over the years. "Maybe we'll try to pick up some chicks."

Quirrell bit his lip; he was scared of what could happen at that. He had never been much of a people person. "I won't know what to say, I'm no good at that." He tried to keep the whine out of his voice but he needed to get the point across.

Voldemort rolled his eyes, he needed Quirrell to do this, and otherwise how was he supposed to get a good night out. "Come on it'll be fun." He lightened up; he always had a plan, an evil or fun plan when it depended. "You just move your lips and I'll do the talking." He rolled his eyes, sensing that Quirrell wasn't quite bending. "Quirrell, man, listen! I may just be a parasite on the back of your head literally devouring your soul every time you take a breath, but I can see that you're too good a guy not to have some fun once in a while. You deserve this!" He could sense that he was swaying his friend finally.

Quirrell felt a little better, he knew that he could trust Voldemort and if he was going to be helping him, then he could manage it, he reckoned. "Well, if you put it that way then, yeah! Let's just go wild tonight!"

Voldemort grinned, finally he was getting the night out he deserved. "That's the spirit Squirrel! Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic." He rolled his eyes, determination in his voice. "Quirrell we are going to get you laid." As Quirrell changed his outfit, Voldemort started to reminisce. It was the best of times when he was alive. "Seriously man, back when I had a body, oh, I had magic with the witches." He added as an afterthought as Quirrell moved out of the room and towards the castle doors, preparing to go to Hogsmeade. "Just ask Bellatrix Lestrange!" Now that had been one night he had not regretted.

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**Hope you liked it! Until for ages or someone picks it up, I sign off for the last time.**

**~PenMagic xx**


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